TW: Self harm, suicide
My depression didn’t really affect my family until the end of my relationship with my daughters Mum. My anxiety and depression got so bad, to the point in which I wasn’t turning up to job interviews and if I did get a job- I wouldn’t turn up on the first day. I’d spend hours not talking to anyone, I’d sit inside for ages doing nothing but wallowing and it took it’s toll on the relationship.
She decided that she couldn’t deal with the depression and the anxiety. Everything became too much for her and she left. Since she left I’ve been on suicide watch.
I got to such a low point thinking that I couldn’t do anything right, that it must be me messing up my life time and time again. Messing up all my relationships. And I saw that my kids weren’t happy seeing me like this, they didn’t know what was going on, except that their dad was sad for days upon end. I saw this and thought that I was a failure to my family, and I cut the word “failure” into my leg. This was to remind me that I was the failure, that it was all my fault.
That was the point in which one of my friends started to worry about me and started to look into ways to help me. He looked into suicide watch, and eventually spoke to me about what he’d found and what he thought I should do.
This is the point in which I realised I was at my literal lowest. I’d have probably been dead if it wasn’t for my kids and that friend. I will always be thankful for the services offered and for my friend for being able and willing to help me to that extreme. Since then, everything has been swings and roundabouts, but I can safely say that I’m no longer that low- and that I’ve seen reason to live now.
Again, Sam has chosen not to share any social media details with us- yet I am grateful that he has chosen to share this story and has helped to encourage others to seek the help they both need and deserve. His story about his battle with depression can be found under the depression tab.
Mad Hatter's Tea Party 