When I was a bit younger, my Mom used to criticize me a lot. I never thought much of it until I hit my teenage years. I was quiet and didn’t talk much to anyone. One day, I got quiet around my Mom. She instantly started to blame my lack of conversation on my mental health.
I was always bombarded with the constant, “Oh, there’s something wrong with you.” or the “We need to get you checked because you’re not normal.” And that was honestly really painful to have to hear.
So I started to talk to her again.
But every time I talked to her about something that interested me she shut me down instantly. Either by acting really disinterested or by straight up ignoring me in order to talk to someone else. So I went back to being quiet- yet the slander just happened again.
Later on in life, I started talking to her again, confiding in her and telling her things I hadn’t told anyone else. And she promised me she wouldn’t tell anyone. But at the next family gathering we went to I found people were interrogating me about things I’d told her in private.
I felt betrayed and hurt knowing that the person who is supposed to love me more than anyone else lied and tossed around my biggest secrets as if they were nothing. And she did this over and over to the point where I was scared to talk to anyone about anything that was important to me.
I was scared to let anyone close, I was scared of being hurt again. I shut people out a lot, even my girlfriend doesn’t really know me. I haven’t been able to be fully honest about myself to people in years.
And that’s my story.
Tommy’s Instagram is @aniim0sity if you would like to follow him 🙂 We’d like to thank him for sharing his story, and helping people to realise that they aren’t the only ones going through difficult situations within their family.
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